A Glimpse of Kahlan
by LOTSloverCSS
Summary: Set during Listener, this explores what Richard was thinking as he watched Kahlan sleep and when Renn told him that Kahlan had feelings for him.


**A Glimpse of Kahlan**

Set during Listener, this explores what Richard was thinking as he watched Kahlan sleep and when Renn told him that Kahlan had feelings for him.

Author: LOTSoflove

Rated: PG-13

Category: Drama/Romance

Characters: Richard, Kahlan, & Renn

One Shot Deal/Story

This scene in Listener is one of my favorites of season one. I love the look on Richard's face as he watches Kahlan sleep. What is he thinking? I wanted to explore it so this is just what I think he was thinking and feeling during this scene.

Dark shadows of the night enveloped the entire forest save for the small fire that cast an orange glow around the campsite. The flickering flames softly danced in brown eyes that were transfixed on the beautiful sleeping form before him. Thoughts and emotions swirled in Richard's mind and heart, mirroring in his eyes and on his face as the conversation from earlier in the evening replayed itself in his head.

"…_What happened to you was just as bad…" _Renn had reminded Kahlan while she had been tending to Richard's injured arm. Richard had been surprised by the comment and hadn't understood what Renn could have possibly been referring to. At times he forgot about Renn's gift. He was just a young boy, but Renn was a Listener and as such was able to see into anyone's mind, see what they were thinking, what they had experienced, what they were feeling. What had he seen in Kahlan's mind? What had happened to her? How could she even remotely relate to the things that Renn had described being forced into doing?

Kahlan had tried to brush it off by saying that it was nothing, but Richard had seen the anguish and pain that briefly flashed across her face as some distant memory resurfaced in her mind. Suddenly overcome with concern about what had happened to her, Richard had pushed her to tell him what had happened.

"…_my father came to get us, claim what was his…we made them do such terrible things…and if we tried not to…" _Kahlan's words echoed in his head. He could still feel the lingering ache in his heart at seeing the anguish in Kahlan's face, hearing the tremble of her voice as she relived the horrible memories of her childhood and how her father had treated her and her sister. Richard had wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms and hold her close to him as tears streamed down her face. His feelings for her were growing stronger every day, becoming more and more difficult to hide. Soon, it wouldn't take a Listener to see what he felt in his heart for her. And now watching her sleep, he still wanted to go to her, hold her in his arms and kiss her, take away her pain.

"…_tie you up…bind your hands..." _resounded in his mind. That was why Kahlan had been so fiercely adamant earlier about not using the rope to tie Renn up. He couldn't understand why she had been so upset about it at the time. It was only rope. But now he understood. How could a father do that to his children, to his daughters no less? They were just little girls. No child should ever have to go through something like that. He shuddered at the thought, of the terror that they must have felt. Kahlan had described enough to understand what she had endured, but Richard was certain that there was much that Kahlan had left out, much more horrors she and her sister had lived through at the hands of this so-called 'father'.

"…_why didn't you just use your powers against him?"_

"_...because, he was her father…" _Renn had answered for her as Kahlan fought to regain control of her emotions and the tears that had flowed unbidden from her blue eyes. She averted her eyes, not wanting to look at Richard, afraid of what he might think of her. When she had returned his gaze, she found soft brown eyes, etched with tender concern for her. The look he had given her had made it even harder to breathe, to regain control.

Richard had a difficult time imagining growing up with a father like Kahlan's. He knew he was fortunate to have had such good, caring parents growing up. The thought of his own kind father who had died caused a pang of sorrow in his heart. He felt guilty having had such a good childhood, knowing now what Kahlan had gone through. He was thankful the Sisters of the Light had saved Kahlan and her sister from her father, that they had been so good to her. It was the six years of pain, torment, and abuse that she had endured that tore at his heart. Rage seethed in his blood at the thought. Kahlan had tried to brush it off as "nothing", but he knew Kahlan and he knew her heart. This was something. It was a painful burden that she carried with her daily, knowing how she had been forced to hurt people. It went against everything she believed in…

Renn shot up from a sound sleep, startled by the sound of an owl, jolting Richard from his private thoughts…

___

Richard lay on his back, watching the clouds pass in front of the full moon that was shining brightly overhead. He definitely didn't think he could sleep now; he felt like he could float along with the clouds overhead. If he had been bombarded with thoughts and emotions earlier, his mind and heart were certainly under heavy assault now.

"…_why haven't you told her what you feel about her…?" _Renn had so innocently asked. He was scared that's why! The Seeker was scared. If he told her how he felt about her and she didn't feel the same way…he didn't want to even think about it. He had spent too many nights thinking about it, too many nights dreaming about her. How could he go on fighting Darken Rahl with her at his side, knowing she didn't share the same feelings for him that he had for her?

"…_It's not that complicated. You're just scared she doesn't feel the same way, but you don't have to be scared…she feels the same way you do…"_ The thought brought a small smile to Richard's lips and a flutter to his heart. He had been taken aback by the revelation, but the shock soon gave way to excitement and confusion. Why had she not said anything to him?

"…_I know...it just doesn't make sense…something about she's afraid to hurt you with her powers…" _

Richard hadn't been able to glean any more information from Renn as Kahlan awoke to find them both up. She scolded them for not being asleep as they had a long journey ahead tomorrow. Renn needed to sleep and Richard had been injured in the previous day's battle. It had startled him to find her suddenly awake. He hoped she hadn't heard their conversation. He had become tense and uneasy when she had gotten up and especially as she brushed against him as she passed to see to Renn. He suddenly didn't know how to act around her with this knew revelation fresh in his mind.

His heart swelled now at the thought of her falling in love with him. But why was she afraid of hurting him with her powers? The more he got to know Kahlan Amnell and the more his love for her grew, the more he realized there was a lot she kept hidden. Now that he knew she felt the same way as he did, he was especially looking forward to their journey ahead and that he would share that journey with her. With that thought dancing through his weary mind, Richard drifted off into a fitful sleep.

The End


End file.
